Going through a divorce can be a very difficult time for anyone, especially if you have been with your spouse for as long as 30 or so years. If you’re wondering what your next steps should be now that you are separating after so many years together, there are certain things you will need to prepare yourself for, including:
- How to go about telling your adult children and grandchildren
- Handling finances like pensions, a mortgage, and spousal support
- Living arrangements
- Who will be your caregiver as you age
- Sources of income
A divorce after three decades means a lot of things to both you and your husband. Your retirement accounts will most likely be divided and you will need to find a way to build it back up if it’s not enough to support you. If you do not have a job and have been out of the workforce for several years, you may worry that it’s too late in life to establish a new career. If you have limited income, there are a few steps to consider, including moving to an area that has a lower cost of living or reducing your lifestyle expenses.
If you are no longer covered under your husband’s insurance, you have the option of signing up for COBRA for 36 months until you find sufficient health coverage for yourself. You will also have to start thinking about what might happen to you in 10, 20, or 30 years. With a spouse no longer there to care for you, you will have to figure out who will provide the support you need when you age. If you’re unsure if you will remarry or have your children take care of you, you will need to start saving for expenses for caregiving in the future.
The period between being served divorce papers and the actual divorce is a tumultuous time for anyone going through a divorce after a long-term marriage. You will require a lot of mental and emotional support to get through it and will also need to know what steps to take and plans to make. This is also an important time to check up on yourself as you deal with the emotions of ending a long-term marriage.
There are going to be lots of different ways you can handle this divorce. The best thing for you to do is deal with the stress in a healthy way. Try to remain on amicable terms with your husband. If that is not possible, speak to each other strictly through your lawyers. There will be lots of things that you and your husband will have to go through and decide on while getting the divorce settled, particularly because of your age and the longevity of your marriage.
Your family dynamics will change significantly during this period. Your kids — although adults — will be affected, and so will your grandchildren. You will need to tell your children and answer any questions they might have. Your grandchildren may also have a hard time understanding what is going on and it will be up to you and your children to decide how to tell them. You will also need to work out and arrange how you will see your grandchildren.
Getting a Fresh Start
Divorcing after a long-term marriage is hard. It will take you through an emotional journey which will leave you asking yourself a lot of questions about your future. If you need help or advice about your impending divorce, contact the lawyers at the Law Firm of Caryn S. Fennell today. A divorce late in your life doesn’t have to be a bad thing. If you’re prepared and know what questions to ask and plans to make, you can come out of your divorce a healthier and happier person.